Aliveness

We are not ready to settle for what is, acceptable though it seems to our family and friends. We realize at some point that our own steam isn't enough to get us where we sense we want to go. There is so much more to reality than we have known and it's unbelievably well-coordinated. It seems our wishes are heard and responded to. Our thoughts are repeated and verbalized to us. A backstage manager orchestrates meetings and perfect misses and brings opportunities to us.  

Moving into the realm of our intuitive guidance frees us. Here we listen every second. We practice presence. We trust our partnership with the Universe. The Universe knows exactly what we want and need and how to make it happen. And the Universe is unfailingly on our side.

Life becomes an adventure. Since the Universe is working for us we watch to see what happens next. We expect gifts. We want to learn.

Living in a realm far greater than who we individually are affects our perceptions of reality and our experience. When we notice the Universe responding to our unvoiced thoughts we feel a confirmation unlike any appeasement from our intellects. When something unexpected happens we realize that it  is perfect for us. We don't insist on forcing our way. We live with trust and acceptance. We know we are loved and that we are guided to wholeness. So, no matter what happens we're receptive and grateful.

We notice our resistance. We practice resistance when we think instead of practicing humility. We practice resistance when we blame another. We practice resistance when we abandon our feelings. Notice times the past week when you have practiced resistance in each of these ways. Spend time with this exercise. When we release resistance, life carries us. We don't need to do more. We let go of the resistance we practice every moment without awareness.

We keep ourselves in a resistance box and we don't recognize that. Our beliefs form the walls of our resistance box. Some of our beliefs we can easily verbalize. Others are subtle.

Notice what you say when you need to separate yourself from others:

I don't believe what you believe.

In my religion we do it differently.

That's not what the priest/rabbi/minister/leader says.

We've done it this way for generations. The founding fathers laid it out in their writing.

I just believe what I'm taught.

I always try to follow the rules. Nobody's perfect but I aim to fit the mold presented by others wiser than myself.

 

Spirituality is a matter of process, not of content. In other words, your spirituality is defined by your willingness to be carried by the flow. The flow moves through your deepest center. It is both you uniquely and you as part of the whole. Your spirituality anchors in your respect for yourself as an expression of Source. You cannot be propriety about your essence. You didn't create your essential core and you will never destroy it. You can refuse to see it. You can fear your power. You can give it to another and, thus, avoid your responsibility. You can say, I'll trust what I'm taught. That's safer than trusting my own ever-changing flow.

Going for safety is the opposite of acknowledginging your spiritual roots.

You may anchor yourself in a belief system and practice rigid adherence to that system.  Like putting on a costume, you fit yourself into a form designed for everyone. Your individuality pales and may be considered irrelevant or problematic. You don't ask yourself what you think or feel. You toe the party line. You don't even recognize that you have an opinion. You treat yourself as one more cookie made from a communal cutter.

Why do we want to devalue our own unique being? Isn't it the most exciting possibility imaginable that Source expresses through us? And needs us to express? How incredible is that!

It's both exciting and sobering. If I truly know that at my core I am one with Source I want to always be attentive to that Source flow. Nothing is more important. And, really, what do I do that doesn't arise from my attention to my oneness with Source? That is the realm I operate in 24/7 whether I'm aware of it or not.

Completely humbling, isn't it. Am I going to damage my experience of oneness with Source? Or deny it altogether?

I must say that I can appreciate how one would prefer to deny their oneness. What an overwhelming responsibility it is to acknowledge oneness. Every word/thought/deed counts. Most of us monitor our behavior. But few of us shine a light of recognition on our thoughts. Perhaps the fact that no one else sees our thoughts devalues them in our list of concerns. But our thoughts create our experience. And our experience of our oneness makes meaningful every second of our day.

Every tiny thought is worth noting. It's not worth thinking but simply noticing and allowing to pass. Maintaining that stance of Observer and Allower defines our relationship to our experience of oneness. Our inner world (which no one else knows) assumes primary importance in our experience of oneness. Our thoughts and our feelings both process our experience as well as interpret it. Our assumptions cloud our perceptions which form the basis for our experience.

We all make assumptions. Some assumptions we consciously recognize and some we don't. You can easily fill in these blanks:

What's important to me is _________

I can't be bothered with  ­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­_________

Money in my life has been _____________

Love in my life has been _________

 

What is your response to these statements?

My thoughts make like difficult for me.

I can't easily let go of old hurts and resentments.

I am on guard around folks I don't know.

I trip myself up when I think about ________

I feel untouchably alone sometimes.

I always know that things work out well for me.

I have a black cloud over my head. No one can see it but I feel like I'm always being rained on.        

I don't always know how I feel.

My feelings slow me down. I don't like wasting time on feelings.         

If I want something done I do it myself.

I'm optimistic by nature.

 

 

Why do we consider these questions in a discussion of spirituality? Because our assumptions (of which we are likely not completely aware) lay the groundwork for our choices. Our beliefs lay the groundwork for our assumptions. Our beliefs are formed before we speak and think. We have experiences in our first weeks and months of life which we don't recall but which structure our perceptions. We learn about ourselves and the world from our interactions with our caregivers. We can't verbalize what we've learned but these preverbal experiences influence how we treat ourselves and how we expect other to treat us. As for our spirituality — it's hard to imagine an unconditionally accepting Source when all we've experienced has been abuse and neglect. 

As young children we may confuse Source and our parents. Both seem all powerful. We depend on our parents. That may or may not go well. Can we trust Source if we can't trust our parents? If it's not safe to be vulnerable with other humans, how can we own our vulnerability which is the basis for our experience of oneness with Source?

We experience Source in greatest depth when we are broken. When we can't hide behind our successes and we have no hope that we can save ourselves, we go to Source. We may feel desperate. Certainly, going to Source is not our first choice. But we can't deny the shame or the rage or the fear that shakes us to our core. And we can't heal them with our best thinking and planning and strategizing. We realize that we can't do this life on our own.

Our choices are to surrender or to close down on our vitality. The latter we try first. It's what everyone else has done seemingly. Our families encourage us to be reasonable. "No one has everything," we're told. But the truth is we want everything. At least when we're young we do and we announce that we plan to have everything. The adults smirk. We're embarrassed. We don't make that mistake again. We close down. At least we avoid embarrassment but we've lost a bit of our souls.

Through the years we lose more bits incrementally until we don't realize how much of ourselves we've lost. We've adjusted and accommodated and lost any meaningful connection with Source.

Then, if we're lucky, some unexpected occurrence rocks us to our foundation. Whatever it is —losing our health, losing a body part, losing a marriage or a child, losing our dream — some kind of loss wakes us up. And we now we can't live anymore closed down. We must experience our oneness with Source because without that we can't face another day.

Surrender is our only choice.       

When we surrender we accept that our life doesn't work in the small box presented to us. We can't be satisfied by what seems enough for others. We don't fit and we don't even care that we don't fit. We must reclaim our soul. That's the only thing that makes any sense to us.

 


 
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