Availability

Knowing reality involves more than opening our eyes and looking around.  “Seeing” happens when we are ready to see. Seeing depends upon our availability. It’s not similar to plunking ourselves down in front of a TV and passively acknowledging movement outside us. Seeing draws from roots which shoot down to our soul.
What does “availability” mean? 
Intuitively, we alter our availability to others without even thinking about it. When we meet a new authority figure we screen carefully what we say and do. We project an image. We don’t necessarily want to be known honestly and in depth. We prefer to make a good impression. In that instance we are not available.
When we interact with a family member who is mentally ill or addicted, we grant him leeway. We say “It’s the mental illness talking.” Or “It’s the drugs.” We don’t take his behavior personally and we are not hurt by whatever happens in any interaction with him. Our vulnerability is removed from the scene. We alter our expectations and we practice acceptance with detachment. Again we’re not available.
Availability refers to showing up and being present without a thought to the impression we make or the feelings which arise inside us. We’re not paying attention to other people or to circumstances. All our focus and all our attention move inside. We say “I am available” and we wait and we pay attention. We don’t know what thoughts, feelings, memories, insights will arise.  We practice availability when we allow ourselves to go to any depth inside.  We allow ourselves to be carried. When we practice availability we don’t think or resist. We may notice our fear. In fact, we notice everything. But we commit to the ride. Wherever we are carried we practice presence.
Availability implies trust. We know that Spirit in us pulls us to healing in our own personal terms. We don’t have to understand. We just show up and practice availability. Availability equals presence plus trust plus commitment with a healthy dose of humility. When we practice availability we enter the realm of the gods and we defer to the highest and wisest part of us (which is also unconscious). We move into our own god-consciousness and we say Yes. Yes, I am available. Yes, I commit to this ride. Yes, I accept a guidance my mind can’t fathom. Yes, I participate in my life but I don’t own it. I allow life to teach me. I am available to learn. I acknowledge the God within me. Yes to this second.

 

 
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