July 30, 2014

Abraham emphasizes the importance of being in the vibrational vicinity of what we want to receive. As of today I clearly want to see healing and change in the brain MRIs. Before today I've been reluctant to be so unrealistic but I'm clear--healing profoundly that is the only thing that makes me excited and motivated about committing to participating passionately in the rest of my life. This project is worthwhile.

It requires a vibratory shift, owning that I'm a winner, staying out of the past, releasing anger, allowing the Victim/Child to mature, owning the Hero vibe. I am committing to doing something no one else has ever done. I love that.

In meditation today I saw the fear behind my Controller. So much Controller stuff goes on inside that I don't see. The fear--can I be happy, can I use my time in a gratifying way, can I live meaningfully? The attitude of walking in partnership with Source and trusting life to present opportunities to me makes more sense than anything else.

This project is totally vibrational. Part of me wants to convince God to help me but in reality God has already said Yes and knows exactly the healing I need. I know I can I trust that. (I feel a wobble when I say that so I need to practice that vibe.) If I know it, Source knows it. I want to practice that confident vibe more.

I know I can do this. It was inspiration to hold daily meditation groups; they have been powerfully healing for me. I want to convince myself and God that God should be with me but I don't need to do that. That's still coming from a belief in my powerlessness but the truth is in owning my power, I don't have limitations.  Of course I can do this. Owning that vibe. Knowing my power. Celebrating my power. Trusting my healing. Knowing that my partnership with God is strong and not giving into that powerless afraid Child who-always-feels-lost vibe. Truly, I know that I am a winner and I will win big in ways no one has seen. I know I can do this. And I want to do something of this magnitude. I like this challenge. I accept this challenge. I'm very glad to have this challenge.              

An interesting note: all my life I haven't been confident. It seemed forbidden and wrong. What if now my healing depends upon my being super-confident, owning that Hero vibe, knowing that I can do what no one else has? I must believe in myself--something that wasn't allowed in my youth. I was rewarded for being depressed and other-oriented. Now it feels like I must be over-the-top confident and sure of what I want and completely sure of trusting myself. I need to be singly focused. No room for depression or doubt or wondering or whining. Just know I am a winner. And proceed.

That's a total turnaround. My Controller is offering her derision and her reality: this dream isn't realistic. I know it's not. That's why I like it and why I embrace it. It's not ordinary or mundane or commonplace. It's extraordinary and that's what I want for my life--something extraordinary. Since the meditation this afternoon I feel clear and confident. I will watch for signs of my Controller's sabotage in this worthwhile project.

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