June 30, 2014

It occurs to me that I can adopt an attitude of joy and appreciation for my chronic condition. Maybe I don't need to resist it. Maybe I will say, 'Good to see you' and 'Welcome.' Maybe I'll embrace life through its eyes.

For some reason it is important that I experience this chronic condition. So I will. Fully. Open-heartedly.

Why not? It is here and it is mine. I won't focus on resenting it or pushing it away. I will say, 'What is my gift in accepting you?'

Surrender takes on a new meaning in this context. A chronic condition is not a problem to be solved. It is my life. For now.

Now I experience me differently. Now I adopt an attitude of awe. This chronic condition isn't awful; it's awe-filled. My body expresses God. And it's declaring definitely to my mind, "I will not be ignored and I will not be controlled."

So, surrender is saying, Yes. To everything I experience. Yes to my body no matter how it operates. Yes and I love you. No more pressure, no judgment, no criticism. Yes to life no matter how life looks or feels. Yes and I appreciate this second and today. I want to experience this chronic condition with gentleness and acceptance and humor.

After all, who knows how long chronic is?

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