November 19, 2014

I felt a gentle squeeze from the Universe last night. Jon Stewart interviewed a colleague of Edward Snowden's. "Was he naive?" Jon asked. She looked away for a second and said, "He is idealistic."
I twinge at the word naive. When I worked at the prison doing groups for the mentally ill inmates, my supervisor told me that the other psychologists had spoken about me and called me naive. Then she laughed. That destroyed my peace about being at the prison and left me bruised.
I am idealistic and I was then. I wanted to offer the men something they could use and I  sincerely wanted to make a difference. The state employees generally didn't respond well to me. I didn't fit in (as 4s are wont to say) but hearing (and fantasizing) that I was dissed by a professional group cut me. I continued to do the best job I could but with no illusion that I was respected by my peers.
Hearing the hurting word naive coupled with the inspirational word idealistic healed that old sadness for me. It wasn't anything I was thinking about or even aware of but the Universe delivered a gift to me.
It's easy to forgive when I'm so loved by the Universe. I can release that memory entirely now. 
A healing came for me. I didn't know I needed it and did nothing to effect it but I recognized it immediately and I'm certainly grateful. How can I not feel special when the Universe takes such precisely perfect care of me?
 

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