Forgiveness


     Do you have trouble forgiving? Does it become a matter of pride? Have you ever said, I can’t let her get away with that? Or, I should teach him a lesson! Have you thought, I don’t want to forgive because they will think I’m weak? Or maybe you’ve thought, if I forgive it means that what they did was acceptable.
     The truth is forgiveness means I choose not to carry resentment any longer. I don’t want to give my time and energy to something/someone who doesn’t deserve it. Forgiveness is not about the other person. S/he won’t know that I’ve forgiven. It’s totally an inside job—I release my anger because I no longer benefit from holding onto it. I’m ready for the next stage.
     Forgiveness frees me. The person I forgive never knows that my outlook has changed. But I know.  Forgiveness removes all traces of what isn’t really me and what I don’t need to hold onto. Forgiveness cleans up my personal space.  I feel different. I feel more myself.  After all, my job is to focus on my lifetime, not on anyone else. Forgiveness opens me to meet life this moment and to be fully present.
     I need to be me in my fullness and my richness and my entirety.  I want to live with integrity and I can’t do that until I forgive. Forgiving opens spaces inside me which my resentment has closed. I have suffered because I have missed out on life due to my anger. But when I’m ready I let it go as though I’m casting off an old no-long-needed tattered coat.
     I can forgive if I will. It’s a choice but it requires determination and perhaps re-affirmation of my intent. Why wouldn’t I forgive? It makes my life better. And in the end that’s my responsibility.

 

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