Good Reasons, Better Excuses

I would have but I really want it to be right. I want to know that Spirit moves through me and it’s God’s will. I don’t want to fly off on a meaningless tangent. I want to be grounded so I’m practicing staying present to this second right now, right here.
I would have but I think I was just remembering something I heard from someone else. I didn’t trust it was truly my own inspiration. I want to be faithful to my own voice. I want to peel away everything contaminated by outside input.
I would have but I felt so blue; I thought my feelings might color the creative process. I’ll create on a yellow day. That will be better.
I would have but I ate so much fruit last night that my thinking is way off. All the fructose interferes with the way my mind functions. It’s so important to stay natural. I’ll wait until my system settles down.
I would have but, you know, I really didn’t want to. There’s so much I have to do, that I don’t have a choice about, that, when I can say NO, I will!
I would have but I didn’t know what would happen next. Not that I’m all that satisfied with how my life is working out today but I know I can live with it. What if things changed and I didn’t like the change? And it was all because of me taking action? I would never forgive myself.
I would have but it might make my sister (husband, friend, mother) uncomfortable. We’re just starting to get along and it’s taken so long to get here that I don’t want to rock the boat. Our relationship might not survive a big wave.
I would have but why, really. I’m just going to die and so is everyone I love. In the end does anything make a difference?
I would have but I’d rather vacuum and dust. I find those activities so fulfilling. I can see what I‘ve done. So what if no one appreciates it? No one appreciates me, anyway.
I would have but I don’t think I’m good enough and I’d rather not prove it. I’ll just keep my fear to myself instead of broadcasting my inadequacy to the world.
I would have (and this is no excuse) but the dog really did eat my homework in seventh grade and no one believed me. The whole class laughed at me. I felt humiliated. Why put myself out if that’s what the world delivers?
I would have but I might be a huge success. Actually, I know I will be a huge success and I‘ll love it. I’ll finally be living my real life. But I won’t be able to talk over the bananas in TJ’s. My fans won’t leave e alone! Now, at least, I can pretend to be normal. Then, everyone will recognize that I’m GREAT!


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