Your Choice

So much in life we can’t control. So why do we let it make us unhappy? Do you cry about the weather? Probably not. So why cry about decisions other folks make? We have as much control over that as we do the weather.
You “give your power away” when you allow another person to determine how you feel. If your mood is dependent upon what Joan or John says, you’ve given your power away. If you want to have a good day, do so.  John may dislike you for reasons that have nothing (or a lot) to do with you. You don’t need to take him personally. You can choose to bless him and keep on moving. If you do invite Joan or John  into your inner world, take responsibility for your ensuing feelings. It was your choice to allow the abuse. Next time you’ll say, “Thanks, but I’m not available.”
Some folks enjoy being petty abusers, so if you stand in front of them it’s guaranteed that you will receive abuse. But not because of who you are; it’s because of who they are. If you hang around abusers, sooner or later you will lose.
Abusers aren’t inherently bad people. Usually they are afraid of feeling their own feelings and they won’t integrate their vulnerability. They project that vulnerability onto you and punish you for it. You can choose to accept the hostility or not. But you probably won’t change them.
They have settled for living a disjointed life and they won’t do the work that’s required to heal and then be happy. That’s their choice. You make your own choice about how you want to live.


 
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